


Wedding Nerves

by SweetSorcery



Category: Famous Five - Enid Blyton
Genre: 1960s, 1960s Music, And No Room at the Inn, Angst and Feels, Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Brother/Brother Incest, Caring, Clumsiness, Dancing, England (Country), Falling In Love, Family Feels, Feelings Realization, Feels, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Forest Sex, Future Fic, Hero Worship, Home, Humor, Incest, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, London, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Music, Mutual Pining, Nostalgia, Paris (City), Pining, Plans For The Future, Playlist, Post-Canon, Protectiveness, Romance, Secrets, Sibling Incest, Slash, Tender Sex, Tenderness, Walks In The Park, Walks In The Woods, Weddings, there's only one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSorcery/pseuds/SweetSorcery
Summary: Back home for their little sister's wedding, Julian and Dick discover wedding nerves are not just for newlyweds, and neither is love. But then, some things always were inevitable...
Relationships: Dick Kirrin/Julian Kirrin, Julian Kirrin/Dick Kirrin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Like Someone in Love

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 
> 
> Set in the mid-1960s, well after the original books, Julian and Dick are in their mid-20s. And while this story is _not_ connected to any of my others in this fandom, I can't seem to help sending them off to Paris and Scotland. This time, with a wedding as a backdrop and everything, I got carried away and added a suitably vintage playlist, which will be updated with each chapter:  
>  [](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4fMCdOGJDL01ZO8PFDqukV?si=5e450f1de5a34868)
> 
> [PLAYLIST](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4fMCdOGJDL01ZO8PFDqukV?si=5e450f1de5a34868)
> 
> If you're new to this vintage fandom, check out the wonderful Famous Five audiobooks, and the **1970s** TV series (on which I'm basing my character portrayals, even though it's not set during the 40s to 60s like the books are), on YouTube. It's all available there. If you don't know where to start, I recommend the story "Five Get Into Trouble". Prepare to discover a new comfort fandom! ;)

“Comme ça! C’est très beau.” Romain clapped his hands over his cheeks in delight, much to Dick’s amusement. “Do not laugh, mon ami! You look charming.”

“Thanks.” Dick fidgeted as he turned from side to side in front of the ornate mirror. It was the first time he found himself in the tiny Paris tailor’s shop for a purchase more extravagant than a tie or scarf. “I’m not used to wearing anything so fancy.”

Romain stood back and looked Dick up and down appreciatively, arms stretched out and gesturing as if to point out every wonderful aspect of his creation. “You must become used to it at once, mon chou. You are made to wear fine suits!”

Dick gave him a pained look. “I’m really not. Which is just as well, because I can’t afford them. I’m only a poor sous chef, Romain."

"You are a _wonderful_ sous chef, mon cher," Romain declared. "You know I would be pleased to pay you with suits for your soufflés excellents!" He moaned in fond memory of them, then made the gesture of a chef's kiss. When Dick gave him a pleased smile, he took a step closer, wagged his eyebrows, and said confidentially, "Or with kisses. Mais oui, that would be even better."

"Absolutely not!" Dick said at once, laughing. He'd heard all this before; the Frenchman was most persistent. He poked his index finger into Romain's chest in emphasis of his next words. "You just keep paying for my soufflés in francs, and I'll use those to keep paying for my own clothes. My only excuse for buying this..." he gestured down at himself, "is because a wedding doesn’t come along every day.”

Romain sighed, but he was smiling. "That is true. It is said 'toujours l'amour', but it is a lie. L'amour... it is hard to find, like a treasure, non?"

Dick could certainly agree with that.

"And treasure... it so often hides itself away from those who seek." Romain retrieved his little magnifying glass from his vest pocket and inspected the shoulder of Dick's jacket. He affixed another pin to the shoulder seam and rearranged its neighbour, taking the opportunity to smooth his hands up and down the length of Dick's arm and then straighten out the collar and lapels with excessive care and attention. He winked at Dick. “There will be no hiding for you, trésor. You will outshine even the bride in this suit.”

Dick snickered. He shook his head. “I won’t. The bride is my little sister. I wouldn’t dare, nor be able to, outshine her or her groom, and on their wedding day no less. And I certainly couldn't outshine… Julian.”

A twinkle appeared in Romain’s eyes even as he clutched at his chest dramatically. “Ah, non non non! Chéri! You break my heart. I see now why you turn me down again and again. Tell me, Dick, who is this... Julian who makes you take an extra breath before you can speak his name?”

Dick went red. “Oh… it’s not like that!" He chuckled nervously. "Julian is my _brother_.”

Romain gave him a long look. "He is your older brother?" he asked. When Dick said he was, the tailor nodded and said sagely, “Je comprends. It is a little hero worship, oui?”

“That’s it, yes,” Dick admitted gladly--it was nothing but the truth. “Well, anyway… _Julian_ is the Kirrin who would look handsome in any suit.”

Romain clutched at his golden curls, his eyes wide. “Mon dieu! More handsome than you? You must bring this Adonis to me to be dressed as soon as possible.”

Dick grinned at the thought of unleashing the overly flirtatious Frenchman on his brother. “Julian is a lot happier in woolly jumpers and jeans, digging for artifacts in Scotland.” He patted the crushed looking tailor on the shoulder. “But if he ever comes to Paris, I promise, I’ll do my best to talk him into buying a suit from you. Will mine be ready by Tuesday?”

* * *

Anne frowned at the telephone. “Oh Julian, you’re still in the Orkney Islands? I can’t get married without both my big brothers being here.”

“Don’t tell me he isn’t coming!” George’s frown was a lot darker and more foreboding than Anne’s, and she reached across the table. “Here, let me talk to him.”

Anne turned away, keeping hold of the receiver with one hand while flapping the other at her cousin to keep her quiet. “Are you sure you can get here on time, Julian? I mean, _really_ sure? Because I-- Dick? Oh yes, he’s coming. Of course he is. What’s that? By boat train... Yes, I expect it’ll be a tiring journey.” Anne smiled. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. We’re picking him up at Victoria station on Thursday. You’re sweet to be concerned but, Julian, you have quite a distance to cover yourself. _Oh!_ Patrick said to tell you he’ll send up a charter plane to get you if you can’t make it to Edinburgh in time for the London train. He can't get married without his best man, and I don't want my wedding cancelled.”

George looked impressed. “A charter plane? Whoa! Can I be on it when it goes to pick Julian up?”

“ _Do_ be quiet, George!” Anne said sternly. “Don’t laugh at me, Julian. You’ve told me often enough not to put up with any of George’s nonsense.”

“Hey!” George complained, looking immediately sulky; it was, after all, her favourite expression, and she had years of practice.

“Of course I trust _you_ , Julian. I’m just not sure I trust the railways.” Anne sighed. “All right. But if you think you can’t make it on time, telephone me at once.” She added, in reply to Julian’s next words, “I’m never too busy to talk to my family, silly, wedding preparations or not. And I’m not nervous!” She bit her lip. "Not terribly nervous, anyway." After a pause, during which her expression turned mischievous, she asked, “So, are you bringing anyone special then?”

George rolled her eyes at Anne, laughing when she said, “A girlfriend, whatever did you think I meant? Don't make fun of me.” After a few moments, Anne insisted, “I’ve only asked once before, maybe twice... No, Julian, I am _not_ trying to get everyone hitched just because I am!”

“You are though,” George told her, which earned her Anne’s very best glare. She shrugged, unrepentant. “It’s true.”

“I don’t know if Dick is coming alone, Julian. I keep asking in every letter, and on the telephone as well, and he keeps ignoring me or changing the subject.” Anne looked most put out by this.

George pointed at her rudely and laughed.

“All right, Julian. The line’s getting really bad and so is George. I’ll see you on Friday, yes? Have a safe trip. Bye! Bye, Julian!”

* * *

Dick arrived in Hampstead on Thursday, in plenty of time to at least try and help calm down Anne, their mother, Aunt Fanny, and the nervous groom. After a shower and a rest, he tried to do so in the only ways he knew how: he told them funny anecdotes about Paris while baking them a whole selection of cakes: Madeleines, purple Macaroons and Financiers. Anne requested all the recipes, of course, and Patrick shyly expressed his approval of the idea.

Poor Patrick was ejected from the Kirrin home late Friday afternoon, to make quite sure there was no chance he might see Anne on their wedding day before she walked down the aisle. Apparently, there was a superstition related to this.

Dick was happy to be home, and to see his entire extended family, but it was disappointing that Julian wasn’t there yet; he was due to arrive only late that night and had been booked in to stay at the local inn with Patrick to sort out final details. "I could stay there too," Dick offered. "It'll free up my room here for someone else, and I doubt there's much I can do to help at this end."

His mother and Anne insisted he was needed at home and was doing plenty already. Apparently, 'providing cheer, treats and moral support' were his special skills. He reluctantly agreed to stay, even though the idea of Julian's calm presence was far more appealing than a house stuffed to the rafters with jittery female relations. Besides... he'd missed Julian something awful all those months in Paris.

When the telephone rang just after 9 o'clock on Friday night, Anne rushed to answer it. The sheer relief on her face told everyone Julian had made it to London at last. She talked to him for a few minutes, then said, "Dick, Julian wants to speak to you."

Dick grinned and all but leapt over the sofa to get to the phone more quickly. "Ju!" he gasped into the receiver.

There was a smile in Julian’s voice as well. "Hello Dick, how are you? How is Paris?"

"We're both fine. But Ju, I haven't seen you in ages. Now I have to wait another night?"

"I know, Dick! It's so unfair. I'm just about as miserable as Patrick is about not getting to see Anne again until tomorrow." Julian sighed dramatically.

Dick smiled. "This is awful. All of us pining like this..."

"Who are you pining for?" Anne called across the room.

Julian laughed. He could hear her over the line. 

Dick called out, "For Julian, Anne."

Anne grumbled something about him being silly, while everyone else roared with laughter.

"I bet she was hoping it would be a girlfriend," Julian told Dick. "She's been pestering me about bringing someone _special_ to the wedding too." His eye roll was practically audible in the following pause before he murmured, in an unusually hesitant tone, "You aren’t bringing anyone, are you, Dick?"

"No," Dick told him, his heart beating faster for no reason at all. He elaborated in the same quiet voice Julian had used. "There isn’t anyone to bring.”

Julian didn’t answer immediately but, in the silence, he exhaled audibly. “Dick, I’ve really… it’s been so long. It’ll be so good to see you again tomorrow, even if it’s not until the church. I’m honestly tempted to sneak out right now, find a taxicab, and come visit, but we'd probably stay awake all night, talking.” He chuckled. “We'd end up like Patrick. The poor chap is white as a sheet and practically sick to his stomach. He might do a bunk at the last minute if I let him out of my sight.”

Dick snorted. “Anne wouldn’t like that at all.”

“What wouldn’t I like?” Anne shouted out suspiciously.

Dick turned to her and asked, his hand just hovering over the receiver, “Can’t a fellow have a private telephone conversation in this house?” He heard Julian laugh softly at the other end and said, “It’s best man business, Anne, so never you mind.”

Anne huffed. “Oh, very well, keep your secrets. Just don’t do anything unforgivable at my wedding.”

“As if we would.” Those were Julian’s words over the telephone, as well as Dick’s out loud at the same moment, and they both laughed at how they mirrored each other. Dick was pleased to see Anne’s expression lighten up at once.

Turning away from the rest of the room again, Dick told Julian, "Anne looks mollified. We don't want to put her more on edge than she has to be." Julian agreed with that, and Dick said rather hesitantly, "I guess I should let you get back to your groom sitting duties."

“I suppose so,” Julian muttered with obvious reluctance. "Patrick wants to go over everything at least once tonight, though I can’t imagine that there’s very much to talk about. He probably just needs to get it all clear in his own mind.”

“Probably a good idea for him to know what he’s doing, yes.”

Julian chuckled. “Very true. He's such a bundle of nerves as it is, more so than usually even. I told him it could be so much worse, and he could be marrying George. He looked downright scared.”

Dick laughed out loud, clapping a hand over his mouth at once. He didn't want to have to explain that outburst to Anne, and certainly not to George. A glance over his shoulder told him the whole room was listening now, looking rather curious. "Now I've done it," he told Julian. "This bunch is as nosy as anything."

"Better pretend I said something thoroughly outrageous."

"Oh my goodness, Julian, how could you?" Dick exclaimed, taking no care to be quiet and grinning to himself when he heard some murmuring in the background. He whispered, "They're dying to ask, I can tell."

Julian laughed. "I'd almost forgotten how much fun you are," he told him. Then, after a moment, "Hmm... no, I hadn't really."

Dick tried his best not to let his smile split his face. "I'm supposed to keep this lot entertained, but..." he continued very quietly again, "talking to you is really cheering _me_ up."

There was a brief pause and some rustling, and Julian's voice sounded different again, as if he’d changed location or was cupping his hand around the mouthpiece. “I’d rather be talking to you than anyone else too, Dick, especially if you need cheering up. Nothing's really wrong, is it?" He sounded worried. "You must tell me."

“No, nothing's wrong," Dick said, warmed by Julian's concern. "I got quite homesick, that's all, and it's been hard to shake it off even once I got back here. And we haven’t seen each other in ages and haven't talked in far too long.” He smiled to himself. "I'm feeling a lot better now though." Dick wondered whether he was babbling, but the truth was: he was as reluctant as Julian to end the call.

Julian sighed. “I’m sorry I’m so often out of reach of a telephone. It’s the one thing I hate about going on digs. Well... that and the fact that I have to go digging where there’s likely to be something worth finding.”

Dick grinned. “If I ever have reason to believe there might be a Medieval kitchen midden underneath the tiny restaurant where I work... you know, like that one we found on Finniston Farm that time? I'll tell you at once. Or if it turns out that the Eiffel Tower is built in the middle of a Gaulish fort, you’ll be the first archaeologist I’ll call.”

Julian laughed. “Please do. I’m dying for any excuse to come and see you in Paris, even if I have to take a shovel to the Eiffel Tower and get myself arrested.”

“You… you are?” Dick asked. “Wanting to come and visit, I mean?” His heart bounced merrily at the idea.

“Of course I am, Dick. I’d love to.” Julian’s voice was low and a little rough. He cleared his throat discreetly. “Well… I guess I really ought to go and check on the groom."

"Probably, yes." Dick had a feeling his own voice was none too steady, even though he hated getting so choked up talking to Julian. What a ninny he was!

Julian didn't seem to mind. His voice was very soft when he said, "It’s been good to hear your voice for now at least, Dick. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dick smiled. "See you tomorrow, Ju. Good night."

"Good night, Dick."

Dick hung up. He stood with his hand on the receiver for a little while, until the conversation in the room behind him drifted fully back into his consciousness. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he rejoined the others, but only briefly. Knowing Julian had made it safely to London, he felt suddenly very sleepy and eager for it to be Saturday.

Everyone else agreed that an early night could only be a good thing for all. Anne, however, insisted she would be quite unable to sleep.

"You'll sleep like a baby," Dick told her wisely.

George snickered when Anne stubbornly shook her head. "Such a horrendous amount of fuss. I'm never getting married."

Dick didn't comment, but he agreed. It wasn't fuss that was the problem, but he could imagine no circumstances under which he would ever be able to get married.

* * *

The next morning saw the whole household in an uproar. Dick felt like an occasional table some fool had left on a train platform, right in everyone’s way. He still hadn't figured out what use he was supposed to be at home and wished he’d gone to stay at the inn with Julian and Patrick, after all.

Apparently, it took every female member of the Kirrin family, along with his sister’s bridesmaid and assorted friends and neighbours, to dress Anne. They were running to and fro from room to room with hair ribbons, pots of make up, pieces of jewellery, boxes of tissues and whatnots.

The menfolk, and George--who had avoided the fate of being a bridesmaid by refusing to wear a dress and be referred to as any kind of maid--were eventually banished into the garden. Uncle Quentin, of course, made a U-turn back into the house and to the spare room he had requisitioned as his temporary study; he muttered something about his niece's wedding being a most uncalled for distraction from his work. Timmy, getting more sedate and less excitable at his age, casually trotted after some sticks thrown for him by George and Dick; he’d been told he’d be staying with the Kirrins’ cook and had a day of treats to look forward to, so he shouldn’t mind doing a bit of exercise first.

Eventually though, they were all called inside and asked what they thought they were doing not getting dressed, quite as if they hadn’t been chased out of the house in the first place.

* * *

By the time everyone finally left for the church, it was a relief just to get the day going properly at last. Dick felt twitchy as anything and couldn’t work out why his stomach seemed filled to the brim with butterflies. He rather thought that kind of thing was something Anne and Patrick ought to deal with.

Eventually, he decided it was because he’d been having a rough time from the moment he’d left his old room, what with all the women cooing over him and his new suit:

_What a handsome young man you’ve become, Dick!_

_Such a perfectly cut suit, just look at that quality fabric! Looks like proper Parisian chic._

_Oh Dick, this suit goes so well with your dark features._

_That grey tone really matches your new spectacles… When did you get those, by the way?_

_And when can we expect_ you _to tie the knot, dear?_

_My daughter Emily has always wanted to see Paris..._

For the sake of some peace and quiet, he made sure to be in George’s car for the drive to church. She could be relied on to not give a hoot about his suit, his glasses, or his single status and to cut off anyone who made foolish remarks.

There was still no sign of Julian when they arrived at the church, but Dick reminded himself that, assuming Patrick hadn’t done that bunk the night before, they should both be waiting at the altar.

Anne and her parents would be in the last car due to arrive, and everybody else started to pour into the church. Dear old St John at Hampstead, ringing its bells with enthusiasm, looked exceptionally pretty, all decked out in garlands of flowers and ribbons. Anne had proudly announced the night before that she’d managed to find several blue flowers especially, to make quite sure the ‘something blue’ requirement was well and truly met. She hadn’t exaggerated. There were also lovely little bouquets of baby’s breath attached to the end of each pew with lace ribbons; Dick resolved not to ask about _their_ significance.

He followed Uncle Quentin, Aunt Fanny and George along the aisle and towards the front rows reserved for the closest family members. They headed for the pew on the left, as the O’Sullivan’s--Patrick’s family--were seated on the right hand side, nodding and smiling at them in greeting.

The local church organist was getting settled in, shuffling his sheet music importantly, just as they all reached the front row.

Dick was about to take his seat beside George when a sweet, vaguely familiar hymn began but, at the same moment, he glanced up towards the altar and promptly walked into the pew’s solid wood side panel. His knee banged into the hanging vase of baby’s breath, sending a shower of tiny white petals flying. He barely avoided knocking the flowers from their holder altogether, but left the glass clinking merrily as though to accompany the organ.

To the right of the altar stood Julian and Patrick. They'd been murmuring quietly to each other, while the vicar looked solemnly out at his larger than usual congregation. When Dick’s eyes had met Julian’s, Julian’s lips had stopped moving at once.

Dick still stood frozen in place, slightly hunched over to cup his sore knee and hold onto the pew with a death grip, when George started tugging at the sleeve of his suit jacket and hissed something at him. He didn't hear what she said, all his attention on Julian, so she yanked harder.

" _Sit down_ , Dick, for god’s sake!"

Dick stumbled onto the hard wooden seat and remained frozen in place.

Julian was still looking at him, with unusually wide eyes, and Dick wondered whether his own expression resembled Julian’s. Slowly, a mysterious smile appeared on Julian’s lips as they continued to stare at each other. It took Patrick several tries to get Julian to respond to something he said. Dick felt that the real conversation was taking place between Julian and himself, though he couldn’t even guess what the words might be. All he knew was that his butterflies were having a ball.

“Dick, whatever is the matter with you?" George asked, sounding almost worried. “You look like a deer in the headlights. It’s not you that’s getting married.”

"Nothing's the matter," Dick muttered monotonously. 

But that was a lie. During the next quarter of an hour or so, he barely took in what was going on around him. A couple more hymns, sounding very far away, were played, and people were restlessly and excitedly muttering among themselves. All Dick could focus on was Julian and how much he seemed to have changed since he’d last seen him. Or perhaps it was simply the way Dick looked at him that had changed; that thought frightened him rather.

Julian wore his dark blond hair very short at the back now, but full on top, in a style that suited him exceptionally well. He was, of course, not wearing one of his woolly sweaters and pairs of jeans. He was dressed in a subtly shimmering dark bronze suit Romain would be proud to display in his little Montmartre shop. Instead of a tie or bowtie, a very unconventional and casually tied matching ribbon graced Julian’s neck. His breast pocket and jacket collar were in a contrasting dark grey. In fact, Julian looked like an Avant-garde fashion model who had accidentally wandered into the sleepy outskirts of Hampstead.

A proud smile tugged at Dick’s lips. Trust Julian to turn up from digging holes into the Orkney Islands and look fit to knock everyone’s socks off. And yet... perhaps it wasn’t so surprising. Dick had, after all, anticipated that his older brother would outshine the rest of the wedding party. He tried hard not to recall the misunderstanding with Romain.

What he couldn’t understand was why Julian looked at _him_ so strangely. Unless… oh, he’d completely forgotten to tell him about the glasses! That must be it.

“Dick, move along and give me some room.” That was his mother’s voice.

DIck blinked up at her. He had no idea when she’d arrived. She seemed to have popped up out of nowhere, but she was there now and shooed him a little further along the pew. He vaguely realised this meant Anne and their father were due any moment.

When the organist began to play ‘Here Comes the Bride’, all eyes turned back towards the entrance doors. All except… Dick glanced towards the altar again, finding Julian’s eyes on him still. He swallowed and looked back at the church doors.

Mr Kirrin led Anne down the aisle. She looked beautiful and delicate in her long fairy tale gown with her veil reaching halfway down her back, and she wore a brilliant, happy smile on her face. As they made their way past the front row, she gave them all a quick little wave with her bouquet.

Dick’s eyes followed them up towards the altar, where their father gave her hand to Patrick and came to join them in the pew. Dick’s eyes inevitably landed back on Julian, and he had to remind himself that the stars of the show, so to speak, were Anne and Patrick.

Julian grinned at Patrick's besotted expression as he looked at his bride. But then, once again, he met Dick’s eyes over Patrick’s shoulder.

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here…"

The vicar began the church service by reminding them why exactly they were there--just as well, as far as Dick was concerned. He was in need of clarification.

The service was much like any other service, except that the hymns, psalms and bible verses were carefully chosen to fit a wedding.

When they got to the exchanging of vows, however, everything went rather topsy turvy. Patrick stammered out his words and had apparently forgotten Anne’s middle name. Anne, when her turn came, promised to ‘love, honour and delay’ Patrick. There were some chuckles heard among the congregation.

Dick fought a grin. He assumed, like everyone else probably, that Julian would do better with his part in the proceedings; he was Julian, after all, and could be relied upon to always be competent. But when he was to hand over the rings to the groom, he actually tipped the cushion on which they were displayed. This time, in anticipation of the rings bouncing away across the stone floor, there were gasps of horror. But Julian _did_ manage to catch the gold bands, and even the cushion, in midair. Quite elegantly, Dick thought, for an impromptu juggling act! 

George was cackling next to Dick. “This is a _disaster_.”

He snorted softly. “It’s not that bad,” he lied.

“True. They could all still trip over Anne’s dress on the way out, I suppose.”

“Do shut up, George!” her father said, just a little too loudly, which earned him looks from everyone nearby and a glare from Aunt Fanny.

Dick lowered his eyes and raised his left hand to try and cover what he could of his face. It wouldn’t do for him to get a fit of the giggles and ruin what little was left of the collective Kirrin reputation. Especially considering he’d likely jinxed the whole clan by walking into the blasted pew! So for the remainder of the service, he resolutely refused to meet Julian’s eyes, suspecting his brother was likely struggling for composure as well.

Thankfully, after the rings had been exchanged and the bride kissed, there wasn’t much left to do. Full of a festive willingness to forgive any and all hiccups, everyone’s attention focussed solely on the newlyweds as they made their way down the aisle together--a venture that went off without a hitch or anyone tripping up, thank goodness! There were a number of handkerchiefs being dabbed at cheeks, but it was just the to-be-expected outpouring of happy emotions as the rest of the wedding party began to follow the couple out.

Julian, leading out Laura--Anne’s oldest school friend and her bridesmaid, passed within a few feet of Dick and gave him a luminous smile.

Dick returned it. He felt dazed, putting it down to the cloyingly abundant scent of flowers in the small church. This time, it took a gentle shove to his kidneys from George to get him started _out_ of the pew.

Outside the picturesque parish church, people were arranged into a series of different groups for the official photographer and anyone else who wanted to take photos.

The bulk of the photos, however, were to be taken at the photographer’s studio, which was where the family and essential members of the wedding party made their way next.

Trying to get there was rather chaotic, with everyone ending up randomly in one of five cars set aside to detour there on the way to the reception. To Dick’s disappointment, he only saw a glimpse of Julian’s regretful face before a car door closed between them and his father tugged him towards the next car in line.

* * *

At the photographer’s studio, the whole Kirrin family, along with the O’Sullivans, were posed for a vast group photo with the bride and groom seated in the front. Dick felt himself tugged into the back row behind them and, when he checked who’d done the tugging, he wasn’t surprised to find himself looking up at Julian.

Julian’s hand moved from Dick’s upper arm to his back, resting between his shoulder blades. He murmured, leaning down close to his ear, “Blimey, Dick, I thought I’d never get anywhere near you to say hello. It’s so good to finally see you again.”

“And you,” Dick returned lamely, his mouth dry; he wondered whether a drink at the reception would fix that but doubted it. He gave Julian a rather brittle smile and blurted out, “You look really good. _Well_ , I mean. You look well.”

Julian’s responding grin was the thing Dick decided he’d remember when forever sinking into a hole in the ground.

“Quiet now, and stand still, please,” the photographer instructed sternly. “Now… smile, everyone, as if it was _your_ wedding day.”

Dick groaned internally.

While the remaining portraits were being done of Anne and Patrick only, and everyone stood about at a loss what to do, both families crowded around Julian and Dick. Everyone was eager to chat to one or the other of them, as they had both been out of England for a considerable length of time. Dick was grilled about his job in Paris, while Julian had to share all the news about his latest finds at Celtic digs up north. Whenever the questions veered from the professional into the personal, Julian skillfully changed the subject for both of them--something for which Dick was profoundly grateful.

Julian also took charge once it was time to drive to the reception, to Dick’s amusement and relief. He managed to maneuver both sets of parents into the same car, Patrick’s siblings into another, and the grateful newlyweds into a car of their own. Other waifs and strays were shunted into car number four. Which left himself, Dick, George and Anne’s bridesmaid--all of whom rode in George’s tiny car. Julian courteously offered Laura the passenger seat, and he and Dick ended up squeezing into the back seat beside each other.

Julian tucked his overly long legs up to sit sideways so he could face Dick. “I didn't know about the glasses,” he said, smiling. “They really suit you.”

George claimed, “Dick’s just trying to look like the smart one in the family, like father.”

“He doesn’t have to try," Julian said, not breaking their gaze. "He always was, let’s be honest.”

Dick bit his lip to keep from smiling, but he couldn’t do much about his blush. Vaguely, he heard Laura chatting with George, but all his attention was on Julian.

“Are we too old for a great big hug, after not seeing each other for so long?” Julian asked him.

Dick shook his head. His heart was pounding, but he said, “I don’t think so.”

George, of course, gave her opinion. “Who’s going to tell anyone you came over all sentimental in my car? Not me.”

Laura agreed she wouldn’t either and added how sweet it was when families were so close and fond of each other. Everyone knew enough about her to know the thought was a melancholic one for her.

“In that case…” Julian reached for Dick and pulled him close. With his cheek pressed to his brother’s, he whispered, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Missed you too,” Dick replied, feeling warm all over and rather choked up. Again. He clung to Julian as he’d never clung to anybody. With his eyes closed, he just basked in his strength and comforting scent, so familiar from years spent as close to each other as peas in a pod. Julian would never not smell like wonderful memories and home but, these days, there was a warm and spicy undertone to his scent which didn’t used to be there. It made Dick a little dizzy, but it also made him want to stay exactly where he was indefinitely.

Julian seemed to have a hard time letting go of him again as well, one hand making soothing little circles on Dick’s back while the other firmly held him close. His arms around him were solid and steadying.

Dick _needed_ steadying. Since entering the church earlier, he’d been feeling like Alice stepping through the Looking Glass. It was as if the many months away from Julian had somehow made them closer than ever, and he wouldn’t have dreamed that to be possible.

When they pulled apart at last, Dick had to look away from Julian’s face and caught Laura smiling at their hug in the rear view mirror. He did his best to shift his own expression into a neutral one and was deeply grateful when George started chattering about how she dreaded the reception they were heading for, but at least the food should be good.

“Behave, George. It’s Anne’s big day.” Julian, still sitting close enough to Dick for their knees to touch, said in a slightly thick voice.

“Oh, I know.” George suddenly laughed. “And you nearly ruined it! My goodness, Julian, what was going _on_ in church? First Dick, glasses or not, didn’t see the pew _right in front of him_ , then Patrick and Anne got their tongues all twisted up, and as for you playing ring toss up there...”

Julian protested, even while chuckling, “The ring cushion was satin and very slippery, I’ll have you know!”

Dick grinned. “Everyone’s allowed to be nervous and clumsy at weddings.”

“Clumsy?” Julian looked so betrayed, it made Dick laugh.

“You’re not protesting the nervous part,” George pointed out.

Julian shrugged, smiling a little crookedly. “Not nervous exactly.”

“Oh really? What then?” George insisted.

Julian took a moment to formulate his response. “Unsettled. And a little envious.”

“Envious?” George gave him a glance in the rear view mirror, then looked back to the road at once. “Don’t let Anne hear that, or she _will_ set you up with someone. Several of her friends are still single and getting desperate and would probably find you quite a catch. Oh--” She glanced at Laura for a moment, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”

Laura smiled. “That’s all right, George. As it happens, I do have someone…”

Dick tuned out the ensuing conversation about Laura’s boyfriend. He met Julian’s eyes and wondered. He wondered, because if he had to describe how he had felt in the church, ‘unsettled’ and ‘envious’ were the very words he would use as well.


	2. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PLAYLIST](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4fMCdOGJDL01ZO8PFDqukV?si=47f4687ab66241c7) \- this chapter starts with track 10: The Tender Trap

The restaurant on the edge of Hampstead Heath had been reserved entirely for the wedding party. The O’Sullivans and the Kirrins had shared all expenses, and the venue was beautifully decorated. Floral arrangements graced every surface, except for the large table loaded down with wedding gifts. Alongside that, the buffet for later was already being assembled. And there was a disc jockey setting up his vast collection of records, and a lovely parquet dance floor opened up to the veranda outside.

True to Kirrin form, food was always a priority, so an abundance of it was practically guaranteed. And, naturally, the cake cutting came first. 

Anne wielded the large silver knife with enthusiasm, fully in her element. Everyone laughed when she and Patrick fed each other the first piece: the gentlemanly groom very carefully let her nibble at the cake he offered her on a napkin; then Anne merrily stuffed his mouth with the creamy concoction, more eager than ever to ensure the men in her life were well fed. 

“Come back in a year, and he’ll be the size of an elephant!” George declared.

Everyone, and Patrick’s family in particular, roared with laughter. Patrick was nearly as tall as Julian and thin as a rake and, if anything, rather resembled a handsome giraffe. And yet, no one doubted Anne was up to the task.

The large table, set up in a horseshoe shape for luck (the O’Sullivans’ idea), faced the dance floor, and place cards told everyone their assigned seats. 

Dick was relieved that Julian sat beside him, rather than opposite, so at least he wouldn’t be tempted to stare at him like a fool. On the other hand, he was intensely aware of him and his closeness every single second.

The staff of waiters went about cutting the multi-layered cake and serving all the guests, but not even the hungriest of Kirrins was allowed to touch it until the inevitable speeches were over and done with.

One by one, Patrick, his father, Mr Kirrin and Julian were called upon to stand up and ‘say a few words’.

Patrick, shy as ever, kept his speech short, thanking everyone for sharing Anne’s and his big day with them and then went on to gush about all the reasons he couldn’t believe Anne had chosen him of all men. Anne sat beside him blushing and looking as bashful as she looked happy.

The fathers of the bride and groom went on quite a bit; long enough for George to start picking at her cake, until Aunt Fanny nudged her in the side.

“Speeches make me hungry,” George muttered quietly as a polite alternative to stating just how bored she was.

When it was Julian’s turn for a speech, he shared a few sweet childhood memories of Anne, with Dick and George chiming in on their many adventures. Patrick’s eyes very nearly popped out of his head at some of the more hair-raising moments they recounted; Anne quickly reassured him that her adventuring days were most definitely over. 

Then Julian talked about the Kirrins’ first meeting with Patrick and how much they’d all liked him at once. He was incredibly gracious and, not surprisingly, a wonderful speaker.

Dick struggled not to continually look up at him admiringly where he stood beside him, holding the room spellbound. 

Julian concluded by making everyone laugh when he said how lucky it really was that Patrick was such a jolly nice chap, as just anyone wouldn’t be allowed to marry into the Kirrin family-- _the very best family in the world_ , according to Julian. He said this with a hand on Dick’s shoulder, squeezing it gently, as he sat back down.

Dick paid the closest possible attention to the cake as he devoured it, but a tiny smile remained in place on his lips.

A short while later, Anne and Patrick had their first dance together.

Everyone stood in a large circle around the dance floor. The song they’d chosen… 'A Very Special Love'... was beautiful, if rather melancholic from Dick's point of view. His eyes kept meeting Julian's, and it felt as if he understood why Dick couldn't suppress the odd sigh. There was a longing in his eyes that Dick recognised, and his heart contracted and expanded for a moment. And if some of the lines near the end of the song would simply never... fit him, well... Julian's expression told him he seemed to understand even that. Dick wondered whether he was slowly going mad. Could everyone else read him like a book or just Julian?

Anne danced the next dance with their father and Patrick with his mother, and so it went with everyone taking turns. 

Both Julian and Dick danced with Anne, enjoying how happy and content she looked. George, of course, refused to dance, and once they’d danced with Mrs Kirrin and Aunt Fanny, Laura, Patrick’s sisters, and a few enterprising young ladies (and their mothers) connected to the O’Sullivans who actually asked _them_ , Julian and Dick both, as if by silent agreement, faded into the background of the festivities.

The dancing was still in full swing, the buffet was immensely popular, and the drinking was picking up pace, when Dick lost sight of Julian for a few minutes.

He could admit, to himself at least, that he’d been unable to focus on anyone or anything else for terribly long. Even the dancing had been a blur, and his eyes had met Julian’s far more frequently then those of any of his dance partners; in a way, Julian’s sympathetic gaze had been a refuge for him all afternoon while attending to the duties expected of a bride's perfectly 'normal' brother.

Feeling in need of fresh air, and most definitely not in need of another dance, Dick decided to quietly drift into the restaurant’s ample outdoor area. 

A couple of people were outside and enjoying the evening breeze while dancing, but they hovered near the wide open doors beside the dance floor, so Dick turned the corner and walked past tall rose trellises to investigate the rest of the space.

The veranda slowly morphed into a kind of cottage garden, extending outwards to jut out above Hampstead Heath. Sprinkled throughout the flower beds were tiny round tables with only a couple of chairs to each and, eventually, there were just flowers and colourful blooming shrubs, all huddled around beautiful white and purple lilac trees. He inhaled the gently perfumed air deeply, hoping it might even clear his addled mind. It was a short-lived hope.

Right when he got to the most remote part of the garden and saw who was already there, he heard the first dreamy strains of ‘I’ll follow My Secret Heart’ drifting out into the garden and wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. He considered escaping back inside, but the idea of hiding from Julian, of all people, was ridiculous. Besides… in a way, he had known he’d find him out here. There had been something inevitable about every single moment of that day.

Julian was leaning back against the low stone wall at the far end of the garden, where it overlooked the Heath, but he was facing back towards the restaurant. Towards him.

Dick took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and approached him. "You look as if you've been waiting for someone."

Julian smiled. "I have."

That sensation like a hand closing around Dick's heart and squeezing tenderly was becoming quite a familiar feeling. He smiled back a little crookedly and leaned on the wall with his elbows, facing out towards the Heath.

Julian turned his head to look at him sideways. "Don't ruin that nice suit, Dick. The stone is a bit rough."

"You should take your own advice," Dick returned.

"Good point." They grinned. Then Julian said, "Fed up with the dancing?”

Dick groaned and confessed, “I feel like I’m wearing a sign saying ‘eligible bachelor’, except only I know it’s a joke sign.”

Julian, who had been at least as popular on the dance floor, laughed. “I know exactly what you mean.” 

Dick sighed. “I’m not even good at faking interest.”

“You’ve been a perfect gentleman. I don’t think anyone you were dancing with noticed,” Julian told him.

This made Dick blush a little. "You noticed."

"Yes," Julian admitted. He said, after a pause, “I can’t get over how I almost didn’t recognise you in church this morning. Just for a moment."

"Am I not my usual scruffy self, or was it the glasses?"

"You’re anything but scruffy, Dick. The glasses were certainly a surprise, but I meant it earlier: they really suit you.”

"Thanks, Ju." Dick smiled, but didn’t meet Julian’s eyes when he said, "I had a bit of trouble recognising you too."

"Despite the glasses?" Julian joked.

"Yes."

"Oh?"

Dick was annoyed with himself for having admitted to his odd reaction to Julian earlier. He had no idea at all how to explain it away now. "I don't know why I said that," he muttered awkwardly. "Of course I _recognised_ you. It’s just that… oh, I don’t know. Something… you, I suppose… you’ve changed.” He tried to laugh. “Or maybe I’m the one who’s changed. I don’t really know what I mean."

"Dick…" Julian moved a little closer, brushing his knuckles soothingly along Dick’s elbow on the wall. "It's just me. Please relax."

An almost hysterical little laugh escaped Dick. "I don't know how, all of a sudden. Must be wedding nerves."

"Are they contagious, do you think?" Julian sounded quite serious.

Dick looked at him in surprise. "Don't tell me you've caught them too."

"I've definitely caught something." Julian tilted his head as if to assess Dick’s every reaction to his next words. "I've caught myself wandering through today as if I’m in a dream.” When Dick nodded, indicating he understood all too well, he went on. "I've also caught myself seeking you out all day long, as if you might disappear again at any moment.” He chuckled. “You’ve probably noticed.”

Dick tried to keep his expression impassive and calm his pulse at the same time. He’d not only noticed, he’d been having the same problem.

Julian hesitated for a long moment, took a deep breath, and said, “I've caught myself being jolly relieved you didn't bring anyone and then told myself off for not wanting anyone to be that important to you.” When Dick looked at him with wide eyes, he ran a hand through his soft hair a little nervously. “I’ve been completely out of sorts all day, Dick."

Dick admitted helplessly, "Me too. I… I don’t know up from down.” He sighed, feeling the need to address what Julian had said before. “I couldn't bring anyone, even if there was someone… I…" Julian waited patiently while he tried to find the words. In the end, he simply concluded, “Let's just say I won't ever be bringing anyone to a family gathering, let alone getting married."

"Neither will I."

Dick blinked at him. "You won't?"

Julian slowly shook his head, holding Dick's gaze.

"Oh." Heart pounding, Dick asked softly, "So then you are... like me?"

Julian smiled and nodded, leaving Dick to wonder just how obvious he was and also, just how to cope with this information. It was one thing to suspect they shared even this. It was quite another to _know_.

Julian looked out over the Heath. "Let's walk a bit, shall we?"

Dick's already frazzled nerves tied themselves into knots. "You don't think anyone will wonder where we are?"

Julian shook his head. "I think they're all far more interested in the bar by now, especially in that lethal fruit punch."

Dick managed a smile. "That's probably true."

After a quick glance back to ensure no one could see them leave, they took the stairs down from the garden and went out through the gate and into the Heath, sticking to its tree lined border. 

In the sunset, the tall trees threw soft, slightly blurred shadows across the grass, and the late summer evening was still comfortably warm. The light breeze was a wonderful change to the dense atmosphere of the crowded reception. It brought a certain clarity as well, Dick thought; whether this was good or bad, he couldn’t decide. They walked for a little while in comfortable silence, and Dick wondered whether Julian, too, was finding it easier to think out here.

Eventually, Julian asked, "Do you remember how we would walk for miles and miles when we were children?" He glanced down. “Not in posh shoes, mind you.”

Dick smiled. "I go for lots of walks in Paris, and I always think about those days."

They walked so closely, their arms brushed, but neither increased the distance.

"I can’t walk across a stretch of open country up in Scotland without thinking about them,” Julian admitted. “I miss those times. I miss always seeing you nearby when I so much as turned my head."

"I did tag along with you everywhere, didn't I?" Dick said lightly, pretending his pulse wasn’t quick enough to make him dizzy.

"You did. It was the best part of our childhood."

Dick gave a shaky sigh, and Julian stopped walking and held him back with a hand at his elbow. "Why is there no one in your life, Dick? Not even someone you couldn't bring to this wedding or, for that matter, couldn't marry?"

Dick bit his lip. He kept looking down at the grass as if it provided the most fascinating view. "I suppose I have unreasonable expectations.”

“What are your expectations?” Julian’s voice was gently coaxing.

Dick took a deep breath. “I suppose I’m looking for someone kind and strong and protective.” Even as he feared he was damning himself with every word, he continued, “Someone who needs me and doesn’t mind being needed by me. Someone I can share absolutely everything with, talk to about anything, laugh with and be myself with. Someone who feels warm and familiar like home, but also always exciting and… you know.” He stopped, a little pink-cheeked.

Julian had stepped closer. He was smiling and said softly, “None of that sounds unreasonable, Dick.”

Dick snickered. “Oh, but it is. I’ve found no one like that… anywhere else, and what’s worse, I compare them all, and no one can hold a candle to--" He wanted to bite his tongue off.

"To?" Julian asked urgently.

"The image in my mind," Dick said evasively. 

Julian’s hand tightened a little on his arm, his thumb resting in the crook of Dick’s elbow. “How clear is the image?”

Dick tried to keep his eyes downcast but, in the end, they met Julian’s. “It’s come sharply into focus… lately.” There was a spark of understanding in Julian’s eyes then, and Dick panicked. “Please forget I said that, Ju.” He tried to laugh it off. “Maybe I ought to get these glasses checked again. I mean, obviously, having the greatest brother in the world, every other chap is going to look like a dead loss. It’s probably not fair to...” He ran out of steam, and even courage, looking helplessly up at Julian. “Not fair to compare them to the best,” he said weakly.

Julian’s dark eyes rested on him in a terribly fond way, and his thumb gently stroked the inside of his elbow. He said, very softly, “I’m in the same boat, Dick.”

Dick stared at him, a weighty question in his eyes, and Julian nodded. For long moments, Dick felt as if gravity had lost all meaning and he was floating at least a foot in the air; it gave him terrible vertigo. “Oh god,” he whispered. “Ju, how did this happen?” 

He turned away, out of Julian’s gentle hold on his arm, and his hand went for the nearest solid object: the trunk of the great oak they stood under. He needed to feel something tangible that wasn’t Julian. Something ordinary, normal in the extreme, like the roughness of bark against his skin. He pressed his hand to it so hard that it hurt and winced slightly.

“Dick,” Julian murmured. “Hey, don’t do that.” He reached for him, one hand on his shoulder and the other around Dick’s wrist, turning him back towards himself. Inspecting the inside of his hand, he said, “Please don’t hurt yourself.”

Dick gave a little gasp when Julian brushed the rough bits of bark from his palm with his fingertips, all the while continuing to hold Dick’s wrist. Dick’s voice, and his hand, were trembling when he said quietly, “I think pain is going to be inevitable.”

Julian’s grip was firm, but there was an undeniable tremor there too. His voice, however, was as sure as it was soft. “I don’t think so, Dick. We’ve never hurt each other before.”

Dick gulped at the tender way Julian cleaned his hand. “This is not like before,” he whispered.

“No,” Julian agreed, then chuckled nervously.

Dick snickered a little too. Maybe if they could try to see the humour, if any--

“I’m even less likely to want to hurt you now,” Julian said then. His eyes fixed intently on Dick’s, impressing his sincerity on him. “I want nothing but your happiness, Dick.”

“Oh Julian," Dick whispered shakily. He felt utterly lost in his brother's eyes. “I want nothing but yours." He shivered at the motion of Julian's thumb across his pulse, making it race even faster. "What are we going to do?” He slowly lowered his eyes again to look down and watch Julian’s fingers as they restlessly, and by now unnecessarily, stroked across his clean palm. He wondered whether the innocent caresses would drive him mad.

“We’re going to be very, very careful,” Julian said. His gaze was fixed on Dick’s hand too. “If we didn’t have to be… if it was safe and this was a whole different world…” Julian didn’t finish the sentence, but his index finger traced the outline of a pair of lips in Dick’s palm. Then he looked up and at his mouth longingly.

“Julian…”

“That’s what I’d like to do right now more than anything in the world,” Julian said huskily.

“We… we can’t.” Dick, swaying a little closer to Julian anyway, wished shamefully, but fervently, that they could. His heart was pounding so loudly, he was afraid someone might come and investigate the noise.

Julian sounded equally affected when he murmured, “Not here, no.”

Dick meant to say ‘not anywhere’. It was what he _should_ say. But he found that reason had moved well beyond his grasp with the deferment and promise in Julian’s words. His eyes fluttered closed at the feel of Julian’s breath so near that he could taste it on his lips and, instead of words, a soft whimper escaped him.

“God, I wish we could.” Julian sounded positively broken, his face tilted towards Dick. Their foreheads were nearly touching.

“This is madness,” Dick pointed out breathily. “Even this…” He closed his hand around Julian’s stroking fingers to still them; he couldn’t take it anymore. “This could get us into so much trouble. If someone saw...” He glanced around them, ensuring they were still quite alone on this part of the Heath, but without being able to make himself step further away.

Julian quirked a half smile that set off something a little wild inside Dick. “We spent our childhood courting trouble, with one adventure after another. It seems strange to fear it as an adult.”

“The stakes are higher,” Dick mused, “and the enemy less obvious. Anyone, even people close to us, might...” He didn’t have to finish, for it was all equally clear to Julian, he knew.

“There’s another difference,” Julian said much more calmly than Dick thought the situation warranted.

“What’s that?” he whispered.

“This is no mere adventure… is it, Dick?”

“No,” Dick said at once. “Oh no, it’s not.” He sighed when Julian at last let go of his wrist, leaving his skin warm and his pulse thrumming, to fold his hand around their already entwined ones.

“We’re going to look after each other, Dick, just as we’ve always done. _That_ hasn’t changed. That’s never going to change.”

Dick nodded. He was shaking all over, as if everything he was feeling was trying to burst out of him. He didn’t know whether it would come out in hysterics, tears or some mad impulse.

Clearly aware of his problem, and maybe sharing it, Julian said, “We can’t go back yet. Not like this. We’ll go to pieces the moment we walk in on one of those horrendously romantic songs.”

Dick nodded. He didn’t resist when Julian led him further into the trees. The sun was quickly vanishing behind the horizon, leaving the sky to be taken care of by the waxing moon. Even the birdsong on the Heath changed.

“Just our luck that the songs out here are every bit as romantic.” Dick sighed.

Julian smiled softly at him and looked around. “If we go on just a little further… We’re almost in Kenwood, where the old stone bridge is.” He looked at Dick significantly, “The trees grow very thick there, remember?”

Dick nodded, his mouth dry. “I want to go further, Ju.”

Julian gave him that half-smile again, the one that lit a spark inside Dick. They both knew the way; Hampstead Heath had been their escape into nature when they were home from school but couldn’t get to the West Country and Kirrin Cottage.

They met no one on the way to the Hampstead Woods proper. Soon, they veered off the main path near the bridge, through oak and beech trees and into thickets of rowan and holly. All the while, they kept a careful eye on their surroundings for any sign of other evening wanderers.

“It’s getting dark,” Dick noted, “we might end up getting lost.”

Julian took his hand, lifted it to his lips to kiss his knuckles, and told him softly, “I’d love to get lost with you.”

“Julian…” Dick held onto the warm hand around his fiercely as they negotiated a nonexistent path into the most overgrown part of the woods. He was so distracted by the heat of the hand holding his own, not to mention the echo of Julian’s lips against his skin, he was actually taken aback when Julian suddenly turned a corner and drew him behind a thick, ancient rowan tree. He almost lost his balance and grasped at the lapel of Julian’s jacket.

“Sorry.” Julian’s arm at once moved around Dick’s waist to steady him and hold him close, and his eyes lowered to meet Dick’s gaze in the near dark. 

“Don’t be.” Dick was breathing hard, pressed to the entire length of Julian’s tall, strong frame. He was trembling all over, and the heat in Julian’s eyes did nothing to settle him down.

Julian released Dick’s hand to gently slide his palm around the side and back of his neck, and Dick couldn’t hold back the desperate pleading sound he made.

“I’ve wanted to do this all day,” Julian whispered, so close that his breath played against Dick’s lips. “And I’ve thought about it many times before, always telling myself it could never happen.” His eyes moved over Dick’s face like a caress, and a soft smile played about his lips. “Today was the first time you looked at me in a way that gave me hope."

Dick was shaken to his core by this confession. “You’ve thought about kissing me… often?” he asked softly. “And you were only waiting for me?”

Julian nodded, his palm warm on Dick’s skin and his thumb gently moving back and forth over the soft hollow below his ear. “Oh Dick, the _way_ you’ve been looking at me today! And in church, no less.” He laughed huskily. “You should be proud of me for doing nothing worse than nearly dropping the rings.”

“I’m always proud of you,” Dick told him giddily. “Oh, Ju, I couldn’t help myself,” he admitted, suddenly incapable of holding anything back. “I thought I was going crazy. I couldn’t see anyone else, think of anything else, and I have no idea how I lasted all those months without you in Paris.” He was shaking hard. “Ju, I… _please_ … please kiss--

Julian pulled him in tight, and then his lips were on Dick’s.

If Dick had ever been kissed before, he forgot all about it in that moment. He held on, fingers twisting in the smooth fabric of Julian’s suit, while his breath was stolen in the most heavenly way. Julian was tender, but relentless, leaving Dick in no doubt that he’d been wanting this badly for a long time. When he deepened the kiss, parting Dick’s lips with his tongue, Dick willingly let him in. His hands had been moving up over Julian’s chest, and now he flung his arms around Julian’s neck to press even closer.

Julian groaned into his mouth, hand fisting in the back of Dick’s jacket. He was in charge of the kiss as he had always taken charge of everything, and Dick knew, without Julian’s arm around him, his knees would give out. 

The sound of Julian’s soft groan moved through Dick with a tremor, and he made a hungry sound of his own. It took on a desperate note with Julian’s tongue stroking his. The hand on his neck moved up into his hair, sending the most wonderful shivers down his spine. He found himself rocking against his brother and knew, at this rate, they would end up quite unable to return to the party at all.

Julian realised it too. He released his mouth with a gasp but held him close, hands on the back of his head and in the small of Dick’s back. He nuzzled into the side of his neck, inhaling him deeply. “Goodness gracious, Dick…” His voice was deep and rough.

Dick was gulping for air. “I feel like I’m losing my mind, Ju, and I don't even care.”

Julian’s lips nipped and pressed tiny kisses to the side of his neck, while his hands roamed over every inch of Dick’s upper body, above the jacket. When Dick squirmed against him, Julian’s hands moved between them to undo Dick’s jacket and waistcoat. He slid his hands underneath both and around Dick’s waist, which only increased Dick’s squirming.

The heat of Julian’s exploring hands through his thin shirt drew soft gasps and moans from Dick, and he whispered his brother’s name in breathless pleas.

Julian’s mouth was on his chin now, and his jaw, leaving a line of kisses up to his cheekbone and ear. “I wish we didn’t have to go back.” Julian’s voice was almost unrecognisable. “And I really wish we didn’t have to worry about grass stains causing all sorts of questions…”

Dick whimpered, all too easily able to imagine what could happen… what they might do, if… He moved one trembling hand under Julian’s jacket, but he was clumsy in his need, unable to undo any buttons at all. So he slid his hand under the waistcoat at Julian’s back, then traced the heat of his skin through his shirt down behind the waistband of his trousers.

Julian groaned his name softly against the sensitive, damp skin of Dick’s neck. 

Dick closed his eyes, tipping his head back to give him even better access. His free hand moved through Julian’s hair, letting the clean, silky strands flow through his fingers. His whole body curved against Julian; there wasn't the least amount of space between them.

Julian moaned, kissing and licking Dick’s skin while being careful not to mark him in any visible way. His hands moved down, along the line of Dick’s spine, and further. He traced over the curves of Dick’s bottom and squeezed him close.

A soft groan fell from Dick’s lips when his hardness pressed to Julian’s groin, and they each realised they had the same predicament.

“Oh god,” Dick stammered out breathlessly, then picked up the thread of their earlier words with difficulty, “We could say we tripped and fell.”

Julian exhaled warm puffs of laughter against Dick’s neck. “Both of us?” Then he released Dick’s neck and looked at him. “Dick, you’re a genius!”

“I am?” Dick gasped when Julian took his wrist and turned him to lean back against the tree, then took off his own jacket and dropped it on the forest floor, lining down. “Oh Julian, you’ll ruin that!”

“See if I care. No one will see grass stains on the inside.” Julian was breathing hard and, as if by arrangement, they both looked around into the distance.

It was almost fully dark, and they neither heard nor saw a trace of any other human presence.

Dick was still doing his best to look around when Julian went down on his knees before him and he felt his fingers on the closure of his trousers. He looked down at him, panting hard. The fact he could hardly see anything was both frustrating and heightening every sensation. 

“I want to take all the time in the world with you,” Julian told him shakily, “but, for now, I think we need this, and quickly.” 

“Please!” Dick gasped. “Yes, please.”

Julian gave his stomach a soothing pat. Then his gentle but hurried fingers dealt to Dick's belt, button and zip, all while teasing him with accidental brushes of a knuckle here and a fingertip there. 

Dick’s trousers were tugged down just far enough to free him. He moaned at the soft breeze--feeling cooler against his flushed skin than it really was, caressing him in turn with the silk of his shirt.

But that was nothing, nothing at all, compared to the feel of Julian’s tender fingers closing around him. Then came the wet heat of Julian’s breath against his swollen tip. A tender kiss was followed by Julian’s tongue curling under him, a moment before he felt himself sliding into the hot cavern of Julian’s mouth.

Dick’s knees buckled, but he held onto the trunk behind himself with both hands at his sides. He gasped out encouragement, unable to form words. Julian treated him as if he was a feast served up after a lengthy hunger strike. His fingers gripped at Julian’s thick hair, and Julian moaned around him.

Digging his nails into the tree trunk, Dick clenched his teeth to keep from crying out. He couldn’t believe they were doing this. That Julian--wonderful, handsome, perfect Julian--was doing this to him, was starving for him just as he was for Julian. He whimpered and moaned with every change in suction and speed and gasped when Julian’s fingers tightened around his base.

Dick became aware that, while his brother’s mouth and one of his hands were busy on him, Julian was also undoing his own trousers. He whined softly at missing out on the view but, as if to make up for it, Julian took him in even deeper, moaning around him with the most delicious vibrations.

“Ju… oh god,” he gasped out, rocking gently and carefully into the heat of the sucking mouth.

Julian drew back a little, then took him in deep again just as he made the most delicious sound of relief.

Dick’s vivid imagination filled in the gap, and he knew that Julian’s hand was on his own cock now, working himself in tandem with Dick. He could tell by the way his breathing changed around him and by his gentle swaying motions as he stroked them both and sucked Dick’s cock in deep. He wanted to see, to feel, to taste… everything, but just the idea of what Julian was doing to himself while driving _him_ out of his mind had him gasping for breath and shaking.

Knowing it wasn’t safe to linger, even if they could, Julian’s lips and tongue and fingers conspired to push Dick past the edge within short minutes. He moaned in satisfaction when Dick erupted with a soft cry, and swallowed around him several times. 

Dick was trembling, his knees weak and his whole body on fire as Julian drained him dry. And when he heard the soft, wet sounds of Julian spilling onto the foliage covering the ground, he could so easily have come again just from that. 

***

Thanking their lucky stars that no one else had got it into their heads to have a rendezvous in their part of the Hampstead woods that evening, Julian and Dick put themselves together to be their presentable former selves again.

Julian’s fingers--cleaned fastidiously by Dick’s eagerly lapping tongue--ran through Dick’s hair tenderly. “We’ll have to sort out our hair when we get closer to the restaurant,” he said. “I can’t see a thing by now. At least, not here with the trees blocking out the moon.”

Dick laughed softly. “I feel so ridiculously relaxed, I don’t even care if we go back with our hair standing on end.”

Julian kissed his cheek, laughing too. Then he kissed him again, getting closer to his mouth this time. It was all guess work. “It would make people wonder though.”

“True.” Dick sighed. “I guess we’d better not look too happy or relaxed.”

Julian drew him into his arms, smiling when Dick buried his head in the crook of his neck and sighed with contentment. “With any luck, they’ll all have had a few drinks too many and that’s how they’ll all look by now.”

“Mmmm…” Dick nuzzled his neck. “Ju, you smell _so good_. I can’t get enough of you.”

Julian ran his hand up and down Dick’s spine. “That makes two of us. Now I’ve had a taste of you, I can’t possibly go back to that lonely room at the inn without you.” He cursed softly under his breath. “Oh no, I cancelled that for tonight, thinking I’d just sleep at home. They were getting a load of bookings from other wedding guests, too. I won’t be able to get another room.”

“Oh. We’ll have to let everyone else be well and truly asleep before either of us can wander the corridor at home.”

Julian nodded, his breath stirring Dick’s hair. “And we’ll have to make sure to be in separate rooms again by morning.”

“Anything to be in your arms again soon,” Dick said dreamily.

“It’s where you belong,” Julian told him, tightening them around him. “The longer you’ve been away from me, the more certain I became of that.”

Dick kissed his neck and sighed. “I’ve never felt so good anywhere.” He nuzzled a little, then suddenly groaned. “How long do you think we’ve been away from the party?”

“Quite a while,” Julian said. They reluctantly extricated themselves from each other’s embrace. “Let’s go back, before they send out a search party.” He laughed softly. “We can honestly say we got lost.”

“And found.”

“Yes,” agreed Julian with a smile in his voice, “but that part is our secret.”


	3. La Vie En Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the last part took so long. RL was stealing all my writing time, and then... well, let's just say this chapter ended up quite sizable. I hope that makes up for the wait. ;D
> 
> [PLAYLIST](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4fMCdOGJDL01ZO8PFDqukV?si=690ad0a098fc410e) \- this chapter starts with track 19: Secretly

After they’d left the protective cover of the trees, and the moonlight once more provided not only a path to follow but also the chance of being seen, they reluctantly let go of each other’s hands. They did, however, walk as closely as they could--fingers brushing, not so accidentally, every few steps.

Their conversation was quiet too, just in case.

“How late do you think the reception will go?” Dick asked.

“In a hurry to get home?” Julian’s voice was gently teasing and amused.

“In a big hurry.” Dick grinned.

“So am I, as it happens.”

Dick peered at him sideways, admiring how the moonlight reflected off the lighter strands of Julian’s hair. He wondered just when exactly he’d first noticed how incredibly handsome his brother was and was a little taken aback when he couldn’t recall a time that he hadn’t. When they’d been very young, it might have been more a matter of envy than admiration; but then again, Dick couldn’t recall ever thinking unkindly of Julian, even in the most harmless way.

“I can’t hear your thoughts, but I can tell you’re thinking really hard about something,” Julian told him with a smile.

“I’m thinking about you.” Dick smiled back, moving his knuckles across Julian’s fingertips briefly. “I was admiring you, if you must know."

Julian's smile became positively luminous. "If that's the kind of thing that's going to happen, I'll feel much less odd about making sheep's eyes at you whenever no one is watching."

Dick laughed. "We can bleat at each other." His face fell and he stopped walking. "Oh. I've been so happy, I downright forgot we live in different countries."

Julian stopped too and looked into his eyes, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "About that, Dick… I meant every word I said earlier. I want nothing but your happiness. Now that I know you want me near, I'd move to the _moon_ to be close to you!"

"Oh Ju, I would too!" Dick's heart leapt at the thought that distance between them would soon be a thing of the past.

Julian looked as if a huge weight had been lifted off his heart. “If we're both willing to move wherever we need to in order to be together, I'm sure we can work out the best place easily enough."

"Well…" Dick mused, as they slowly started walking again. "People eat food anywhere. I'm sure even archaeologists do."

"We're infamous for it," Julian told him.

Dick laughed. "In that case, my moving to wherever you go makes sense. Besides… they won't _really_ let you dig up the Eiffel Tower, you know."

"I could ask nicely," Julian suggested.

Dick shook his head, amused. "And as for the moon… whatever would you dig for there?"

"Moon rocks, of course." 

Dick laughed. 

"Or, even better: cheese. It's supposed to be made of it." Julian grinned at Dick's giggles. "And you could cook delicious French things with it."

"You wonderful fool," Dick said affectionately. "I love the sound of this. Just you and me, living in a little cottage on the moon. Lovely and private. Very romantic."

Julian stopped again and looked at him tenderly. "Oh, Dick, I’d give you the moon itself if I could! And all the stars too, while I’m at it.” They shared a longing look in lieu of being able to share a kiss. “Until I can get hold of them though… what would you say to just you and me in a little cottage in the Highlands?"

Dick’s eyes widened. “Oh Ju… do you mean that?”

“I do! I’ve been offered the chance to take part in a dig near Inverness. It’s going to last the better part of a year, maybe even longer. Definitely long enough to rent a nice cottage and make it cosy for ourselves. You’d have no trouble finding work in any restaurant or café you like, after Paris. Or you could be self-employed and do catering, I suppose? And if you get fed up with the vagabond life, we’ll work out something else. I could get into research. Maybe I could even teach by then…”

Dick swallowed, happy tears pricking at the backs of his eyes. “You’ve thought all this out already?” When Julian nodded, smiling a little bashfully, Dick said, “I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

Julian leaned in and, for a heart-stopping moment, Dick thought he was going to actually kiss him out on the moonlit heath, and as close to the restaurant as they were by then. But Julian merely whispered into his ear. “I intend to spend hours kissing you, and doing all sorts of other things to you, and that’s just tonight.”

“Ju…” Dick all but whimpered.

Julian drew back and winked at him. “We’ll just have to hold out a little longer. This party can’t keep going--”

“There you are!” an all too familiar voice called out. They looked up towards the restaurant garden where George was leaning over the wall. “Get up here, you deserters, before everyone’s so drunk, they won’t recognise you anymore.”

“Good old George.” Julian laughed.

Dick grinned and waved up to her. To Julian, he said quietly, “At least we now know most of them are three sheets to the wind. Hopefully they won’t ask too many questions about where we’ve been.”

“We’ll just tell them we came over nostalgic and took a walk down Memory Lane.”

“I think I’ll let you do the talking,” Dick said. “You’re less prone to blushing.”

Laughing, Julian ascended the stairs ahead of him, to face a very sulky George waiting under a garden lantern at the top.

“What have you been up to?” George asked suspiciously. “And you were whispering about something just now. I demand to know all about it!”

“We went and had an adventure, what do you think?” Julian told her, while Dick made sure to avert his face; he snorted at Julian’s words.

George glared at them both. “Yes, I just bet you did. Well, I think it’s highly unfair that I had to endure all this schmaltzy music and dancing without anyone to mock it all with.”

“We quite liked the music,” Dick said, much to George’s disbelief.

She stared at him for a moment, then snorted. “What’s happened to your hair, Dick? You look like Tinker’s monkey Mischief went wild in it.”

Dick stepped out of the pool of light to hide his reaction, frantically running his hands through his hair and patting it down. 

“It got caught in some low-hanging branches,” Julian said, without missing a beat but grinning. “It was too dark to see the damage until getting back here.”

Dick gave him a look that was equal parts admiring and horrified. He stopped fussing with his hair when he was assured, by both Julian and George, that it was quite back to normal.

The three of them returned to the reception through the veranda, with George just a couple of steps ahead. With no warning, and halfway through the open doors, she yelped out loud and leapt aside.

It took only a moment for Julian and Dick to realise what she’d only barely managed to avoid: Anne’s bouquet, which flew through the air towards them. They both stepped away--one to the right, one to the left--and it landed on the floor right between the tips of their shoes.

Most of the guests were watching the spectacle and made an appropriately disappointed noise.

“Aww, spoil sports, all of you!” Anne moaned. “You’re supposed to catch it.”

“Not me!” George said, aghast. “And you aimed that at me deliberately, you horror.” She shook her fist at Anne, who only grinned, unrepentant.

Julian and Dick looked down at the bouquet, then at each other, and laughed.

“Now we won’t know who’s going to get married next,” Anne said, and Patrick clapped her consolingly on the shoulder.

Julian shrugged. “I guess you’ll just have to live with the mystery, old thing.”

* * *

As the Kirrins were all collecting up the wedding gifts in large boxes to take them back to the house, Mrs Kirrin took Julian and Dick to one side. They rather expected to be told off for disappearing earlier, but she surprised them.

"I hope you won't mind too much, " she said. "But some of the guests haven't been able to find a room for the night, and aren't really in a fit state to drive far, so I thought… well…"

"I'm afraid I've given up my room at the inn this morning, mother," Julian said, suspecting where she was heading. “I didn't think it would be a problem for me to stay in my old room."

"Oh it's not! Of course not, dear. Only I was wondering if you and Dick would mind sleeping together tonight?"

Dick bit down on his tongue with some force, but Julian recovered from the shock remarkably well. "Share one of our rooms, you mean?" Julian clarified innocently, to Dick’s horrified amusement.

"Yes, dear. Yours would be best, I imagine. Your bed is a little bigger than Dick's."

"Certainly we don't mind, do we, Dick?" Julian asked him cheerfully, and Dick hoped only he could see the unholy glint in Julian’s eyes.

“No, we don’t mind,” he said as nonchalantly as he could manage, considering he felt like bouncing about the room with joy, Timmy-style. “We used to squeeze into a tiny tent together on holidays. This will be no different.” He was surprised he could form so many words as it would, of course, be very different indeed.

Their mother looked quite relieved. “You’re good boys. I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Now, who can I put in Dick’s room…” She wandered off towards the other guests, her mind already on the next task on her list.

“Great Scot!” Julian exclaimed, astonished. “This day is luckier for us than St Patrick’s Day could ever be for Patrick.”

Dick snickered. He whispered, “I’d ask you to pinch me, but maybe not here and now.”

Julian grinned at him. “I think we’d better get this packing job finished. I’ve come over incredibly tired all of a sudden.”

“Oh, me too.” Dick did his best to fake a yawn.

* * *

The reception wound down soon, with a fair few of the guests heading to the local inn and a handful following the Kirrins to their home.

Once Anne and Patrick had got underway for Southampton and the ship that would take them cruising the Mediterranean for their honeymoon, everyone started retiring for the night.

Dick took all of five minutes to move his things into Julian’s room, with their mother already waiting to change the sheets and get one of Patrick’s brothers settled in Dick’s room. Julian’s room was right below the attic and above Mr Kirrin’s study, both unoccupied at night of course, with a bathroom at the end of the corridor; it was, in every way, the better room for them to be in.

Dick got ready for bed with all the speed he could muster, taking a moment to assess in the bathroom mirror whether he looked as different as he felt. He was at least as giddy as he’d been that morning, and he knew now it had been on Julian’s account both times. He tilted his head and grinned at his mirror image as he undressed for a shower, thinking about the fact that, if ever he was to think of any night as his wedding night, it would be this one.

When he entered Julian’s room, Julian was already waiting with a pair of pyjamas in his arms. “I’ll be right back,” he told Dick, leaning in for a quick peck on his cheek before slipping out the barely open door. He gave him a smile as he vanished around the door jamb.

Dick inhaled a shuddering breath and took a long look at the single bed in the room. It was bigger than his own, but not by much--which was just as well, as far as he was concerned. He had no intention of letting very much space get between him and Julian. 

He walked across to the window and looked out over the garden, aided by the light of the moon and the nearby street lamps. The window was open wide, with the shutters clapping softly against the outside walls. With a smile, he did what he’d done many times before in Julian’s room: he perched on the wide windowsill, allowing the cooling night air to drift across his face, neck and bare feet and to play with his hair.

That was how Julian found him a little later when he entered quietly. There was still plenty of commotion elsewhere in the house, but Dick heard none of it once the door closed (and was locked and double-checked) behind Julian. He smiled and nodded at Julian’s soft instruction. 

“Don’t move.”

Julian lit the double lighthouse lamp--one lighthouse a little taller than the other--on the sideboard across from the bed, smiling at Dick when he noticed him watching. 

He’d bought the lamp on their last school holidays together, Dick remembered. He also remembered Julian’s words at the time, with a soft tug at his heart: _That’s us, Dick, you and me. This will always remind me of our seaside holidays together._

Julian walked up to him and reached across Dick’s legs to pull first one shutter closed, then the other. Then he looked into his eyes, smiled, and gently took off Dick’s glasses, placing them on the little round table beside the window sill. “Can you still see me?”

Dick grinned. “My eyes aren’t as bad as all that.”

“Good.” Julian laid one hand on Dick’s left knee and used the other to cup the back of his head. He leaned in close, his eyes on Dick’s smilng lips, and nudged his cheek with his nose. “Alone at last.”

Dick made a soft sound of agreement. He tilted his head and rubbed his nose against Julian’s, their mouths slowly finding each other. With none of the earlier haste necessary, this kiss was languorous and excruciatingly tender. 

Julian drew back now and then, as if to just breathe in Dick’s minty breath, or maybe to check it was really Dick he was kissing. Each time he leaned back in, he kissed one corner of his mouth, or the other, his Cupid’s bow, or the centre of his bottom lip. 

Dick felt as if his lips had never been more sensitive, tingling in the wake of each butterfly contact. When Julian parted them wider with the tip of his tongue and let it play across their wet flesh, he started to shiver all over, his breaths interspersed with soft sighs. 

Julian finally touched his own lips to them again in one lingering, open-mouthed kiss after another. By the time his tongue finally entered Dick’s mouth, Dick was ready to beg to be taken to bed.

He didn’t have to. He was suddenly rising off the window sill and, with Julian still kissing him, felt his arms behind his knees and around his waist, and he was lifted and carried the few short steps across to the bed.

When their mouths parted, Dick held on with his hands behind Julian’s neck and his eyes holding his. For a long moment, Julian just stood beside the bed, holding him aloft and smiling at him, and then he placed one knee on the bed and laid Dick down on the cream-coloured sheets with the greatest care.

Dick smiled at him, amazed, missing Julian’s hands the moment they let go of him. At least until he got to watch them undo Julian’s pyjama top button by button. Almost absently, and with unsteady fingers, he started on his own, but Julian shook his head ‘no’. Dick lay back obediently at once.

By the time Julian peeled his arms out of his sleeves, the slim muscles of his chest and arms shifting subtly, Dick’s smile had become an open-mouthed stare.

“Your turn,” Julian told him, climbing onto the narrow bed and kneeling over Dick’s thighs.

Dick was panting. He watched and felt Julian’s long fingers take hold of his pyjama top and slide the buttons open from the bottom up, fingertips caressing his bare skin as he revealed it. Julian’s firm weight on his thighs was a wonderful contrast to the tender touches against his stomach and chest; the heat of the prolonged contact, with nothing but two layers of flannel between them, had Dick squirming a little.

“Am I too heavy?” Julian asked with concern.

“No,” Dick murmured. He smiled. “Not at all.” He nudged his hips up a little, the gentle swell of his arousal already apparent.

“Oh, it’s like that.” Julian returned his smile.

“Uh hum…” Dick’s pyjama top was pushed open by Julian’s palms sliding across his chest. He held his breath when Julian leaned down and pressed a long kiss to the centre of it.

“Your heart is racing,” Julian whispered, sounding very pleased. His lips fluttered across the stretch of Dick’s chest.

“What do you expect?” Dick arched a little, with a soft cry, when they closed on a nipple and sucked. “Ju!”

Smiling against the wet, peaked flesh, Julian caressed it with the tip of his tongue until Dick let out a soft moan. “Shh,” he cautioned. “They’re still going walkabout in the corridors.”

Dick covered his mouth with one hand, but Julian removed it, pressed it to the bed beside him, and silenced him with his own mouth instead. As a result, his bare chest and stomach ended up pressed to Dick’s. And then, so did his groin.

The next moan Dick couldn’t hold back was answered by one from Julian, both of them muffling each other. Julian’s fingers entwined with Dick’s on the bed and he pressed both of his hands into the mattress.

A full body shudder went through Dick when Julian moved against him, and he wanted that sensation again, immediately. He nudged his hips up, and a little to the side, biting his lower lip when Julian groaned. They both froze for a moment, panting hard against each other’s open mouths. 

“Christ,” Julian muttered. “So much for taking it slowly and being quiet. You feel so good.”

Dick made a sound of agreement, not at all sure slowness was the best approach either. “I want to feel you properly, Ju,” he whispered, “and to see you too.”

“Anything you want, Dick. Anything at all.” 

Dick wriggled his fingers in Julian’s hold, and he got the message, releasing his hands and supporting himself on the mattress, careful not to put all his weight on Dick.

But that was exactly what Dick wanted. He moved his hands around Julian’s waist, holding him close to let him know it was all right. His hands slid down, from bare skin to flannel and over the swell of Julian’s bottom. He met Julian’s eyes and hooked his thumbs behind the waistband at the back. 

Julian’s eyes fluttered half closed when Dick pushed the fabric down past his hips, as far as his fingertips could reach to move them. Julian wore nothing underneath, but then neither did Dick.

When Julian lifted himself up a little to adjust his position against his hips, Dick gasped. “Oh god, I need to…” He writhed against the firm, hot weight of Julian’s cock, shoving at his own bottoms to get them out of the way.

Julian helped, and they settled against each other with shuddering sighs, shifting until their cocks lay pressed together between their warm bellies, drooling milky trails onto overheated skin.

Dick held Julian close, kneading at his back and the firm flesh of his buttocks alternately, his eyes pleading with him. Julian understood. It took seconds for them to shove their pyjama bottoms all the way down their legs, mostly with the aid of their knees and toes. It didn’t take much longer to establish the perfect rhythm, sliding and gyrating against each other until they could feel each throb and twitch, the wet trickles and the catching of stretched skin against coarse hairs. Every slight shift of a hip or a leg brought about a new range of sensations, and they chased after them all, panting hard, lost in each other’s eyes.

Dick moved his hand between them and brushed his knuckles against Julian’s damp, sticky belly, then gathered the stickiness on his fingers and touched them to their joined lengths. He traced veins, explored their different textures, and moved his fingertips up against the rims of their dripping cock heads as if exploring a fine performance by touch.

“Oh, Dick, I’m going to come all over you,” Julian warned in a husky whisper.

Dick shifted his right thigh so he could get his hand fully around Julian’s impressive cock and feel it throbbing against him. “Please, Ju, I want you to. Make a right mess of me.”

Julian moaned, his back arching as he pressed into Dick’s grip, and his groin, hard, one more time.

Dick held his breath, Julian’s exhalation moving over his face as he coated them both in the warm flood of his seed. His hand slipped on Julian’s twitching cock, but he held it pressed to his own shakily until he, too, climaxed with a soft sob.

“Ju… oh!” He squeezed his eyes closed and bit his bottom lip, not knowing that Julian watched his face reverently.

“You’re wonderful,” Julian whispered to him while Dick was still coming, with his heart thudding and his breath stuttering. “I wished I could have seen your face earlier, in the woods. Oh Dick, you’re perfect.” He stroked his hair back from his eyes and kissed and nuzzled Dick’s face and neck.

“Not me,” Dick protested weakly. “You, though…”

Julian didn’t let him finish, kissing him long and deep.

* * *

In a little while, their damp, sticky state became a little uncomfortable, and Dick wondered out loud about the odds of making it to the bathroom unseen when Julian pressed him back into the bed with his hand on his chest and climbed off him. 

“I’ll take care of that,” he said, and Dick watched him walk across to the sideboard, licking his lips and swallowing hard as he took in all of Julian’s well-shaped, tall form. When Julian returned, after doing something Dick couldn’t see, he met Dick’s adoring gaze with a smile. He was carrying a small stack of hand towels--damp ones, by the look of them. “I just used one on myself. They’re still warm.”

Dick raised himself onto his elbows. “You think of everything, don’t you?” he asked, making no effort to keep the awe out of his voice.

Julian sat on the bed beside him. “I have a hard time thinking of anything but you, if I’m honest.”

“Likewise,” Dick admitted.

Julian smiled softly. He set down the towels on his knee and picked up the topmost one. Leaning in, he gently cleaned Dick’s stomach and belly, then moved down over his hip bones and to his thighs, looking a little sheepish. “I really did make a mess of you.”

“Mmm, you did,” Dick murmured happily, lying back with his head on one of Julian’s pillows and wriggling a little. “I helped, though.”

“Yes, you did.” Julian laughed softly, looking at Dick full of affection.

It quite took Dick’s breath away. He swallowed hard. “Is this how you’ve been looking at me all this time? How did I not notice?”

Julian shook his head, smiling. “I’ve not been so obvious. Now though, it’s going to be hard not to show how I feel about you just anywhere.”

“It will be for me too,” Dick said. “We’ll have to work hard on that.

Julian nodded. “But when we’re alone, nothing and no one else exists.” His voice was low and warm.

Dick felt an ember of heat reignite deep inside him again already. He shifted on the bed and parted his sticky thighs a little.

“Dick…” Julian seemed momentarily torn between holding Dick’s gaze and watching what he was doing. “Wider,” he said eventually, his voice even lower, his eyes moving down to the dark space between Dick’s thighs. He swapped the towel for a clean one.

The way Julian sounded, and the way he looked at him, made something warm and expectant uncoil low in Dick’s belly, and he moaned softly. He widened the space between his legs, raising his knees a little and digging his heels into the mattress. “Like this?” he asked breathlessly.

Julian nodded, his left hand resting on the inside of Dick’s right knee as he moved the towel between his thighs. He cleaned up the stickiness, taking his time, shifting half onto his own bent knee until he had the best possible angle and view.

“You know,” said Julian, “when I wake up tomorrow morning, for one horrid moment, I expect I’ll be sure today was just a dream.”

Dick half sat up and reached for his wrist. “I’ll be here to remind you it was real enough.” Julian nodded, looking more overwhelmed than Dick had ever seen him. He smiled reassuringly, then lay back down, but didn’t let go of Julian’s wrist. Consequently, he drew his hand, and the towel, deep into the space between his legs.

A slow smirk turned up Julian’s lips. “I don’t think anything went this far down,” he said.

“Best to make sure,” Dick teased, squirming against the damp, warm flannel.

Julian turned his hand, cupping his balls in the soft towel and squeezing gently. When Dick arched, he slid his hand, covered with the towel, loosely up over Dick’s quickly re-awakening cock. 

“That’s not even what I had in mind,” Dick gasped out, “but I’m not complaining.”

Laughing huskily, Julian gently moved the warm flannel across the head and pulled it away with a milky string trailing behind. “Oh, I know what you had in mind.” Before Dick could catch his breath, he had moved his hand back between his legs and, with a single finger, nudged the towel against Dick’s hole.

“Aaah!”

Julian nudged again, but then discarded the towel before Dick could get too used to it, only to reveal something else he’d brought to the bed along with the flannels.

Dick smiled at the sight of the small bottle of baby oil in Julian’s hand. “You really do think of everything.” 

Julian looked pleased at the praise. He parted Dick’s legs wider with both hands, then flicked the bottle lid open with his thumb nail. “I have no intention of hurting you,” he said softly. “Even though this might not be ideal.”

“Ju!” Dick said, squirming impatiently as he watched Julian tip a generous amount of oil into his hand. “Please…” he whispered.

Julian nodded, understanding his brother’s desperation all too well. He moved his oil-coated fingers over the sensitive space behind Dick’s balls and across his opening, biting his lip when the rim twitched in reaction to his touch. He circled it lightly before venturing inside with the very tip of one finger, nudging the rim from the centre outward to widen it.

Dick arched, drawing him in a little deeper in the process.

“Careful,” Julian warned, but his finger slid in easily to the first knuckle.

Dick made a soft, needy sound, looking at him pleadingly, and he inched in a little further, then out, and back in. Dick alternated between squeezing his eyes closed and being mesmerised by the heat in Julian’s gaze. He barely noticed that each slide in went a little deeper, until he felt Julian’s other fingers curling against him as the single intruder slipped all the way inside.

“Is it all right if--” Julian began, his voice low.

“Yes, Ju. More.” Dick rocked gently on the single digit to show he could easily take it.

Julian groaned softly, withdrawing his finger very slowly to apply more oil. After a moment’s pause, he spread a generous amount around Dick’s rim, then coated three fingers liberally.

Dick squirmed excitedly, but Julian only shook his head and nudged two fingers inside him. Even so, Dick moaned, vice tight around them.

“Too much?” Julian checked worriedly.

“No,” Dick gasped out. “No, keep going.”

Julian moved his fingers in slow, tiny movements, then began to scissor them ever so slightly.

“Oh god…” Dick clutched the sheet in his hands. He felt unspeakably full but, even so, he couldn’t wait for Julian to be inside him. The thought alone was almost more than he could take, and a generous trickle of seed dripped from his now very hard cock and onto Julian’s wrist.

Julian gave a soft growl. He bent down unexpectedly and licked across the flushed tip just as another burst welled from it. He made a deeply satisfied sound that made Dick’s heart trip over itself.

“Ju, I need…”

“Turn over,” Julian told him, looking up at him from where he’d been lapping up every drop he could catch. “It’ll be easier.” He sat up and Dick obeyed at once, with his help, and spread his legs wide around Julian in invitation.

He shivered when a trembling hand rested on his left buttock before Julian’s oil-coated fingers slid down the centre and parted his cheeks. For a long moment, Julian just looked at him, breathing hard, then he held him open with one hand and very slowly returned the two well-oiled fingers where they belonged.

Dick’s moan was muffled by the pillow, and he pushed back. It _was_ easier, taking them in all the way, in this position. The sensation of fullness was nothing but wonderful. But he wanted more.

Julian sensed it, not making him wait long for the third finger. He spoke his name softly as he pushed all three into the slick, widened channel, then praised Dick tenderly for taking them so well.

Dick held his breath with each withdrawal and gasped each time he was breached again, with Julian carefully crooking his fingers inside him until he found the most pleasurable angle--the one that made Dick groan into the pillow and clutch its sides with both hands.

Julian moaned softly in sympathy, leaning over him and kissing the sweat damp valley of his lower back, even as he withdrew his fingers partway and thrust them home again.

Only able to take a few such thrusts, Dick whispered a plea. “Please, Ju, now. I need you.”

“Yes, Dick, I won’t make you wait any longer.” Julian withdrew his fingers slowly. Then there were the teasing sounds of more oil being squeezed from the bottle and applied--to Julian’s cock this time.

Dick kept a firm hold of the pillow, knowing he’d need it to muffle himself, and Julian lifted his hips and pushed the second pillow underneath him. Then Julian parted his cheeks and nudged at his hole, simultaneously with stretching out along Dick’s back and between his legs.

Closing his eyes and exhaling, Dick relaxed into the stretch, almost sobbing out loud when Julian breached the tight ring of muscle. He did make a desperate little sound, then pushed back gently to let Julian know it hadn’t been a sound of pain. 

Julian knew. He sighed Dick’s name against the back of his neck as he slid deeper, taking his time but not pausing. “I knew it would feel like this,” he panted. “Like coming home.”

“Ju…” Dick pressed his cheek into the pillow, hoping to see Julian from the corner of his eye at least. He sighed when Julian kissed the other cheek, and made a sound of pure contentment when Julian’s hands moved along his sides and up over his arms, until his hands covered his, as if he couldn’t bear not to touch every single part of Dick at once. “Ooh, that’s good, feeling you everywhere,” Dick moaned.

Julian hummed his agreement, then made them both feel even better by pulling back his hips and pressing into Dick again, all the way in one go.

Dick’s mouth fell open on an exhale, fingers digging into the pillow even as Julian’s fingers slid into the spaces between them. It anchored them both, along with the pillow under Dick’s hips and Julian’s knees firmly pressed against it to take the impact of each slowly deepening thrust.

Whenever Julian pulled back, Dick held his breath in anticipation. Whenever he pushed inside him, Dick felt every part of himself relax, as if each thrust was a tiny climax. Julian’s angle was perfect, and Dick giddily thought that he now knew how a cello must feel, being played by a virtuoso.

Julian’s breath was hot against the side of his neck, now and then replaced by the touch of his lips or tender words whispered directly against Dick’s skin. When he told him, “We’ll do this every night soon, love, and anytime you want me…” Dick finally did sob softly.

The emotional release of the sob, and the words, and the way Julian pressed into him extra deep then, finally conspired to push Dick to the edge. He felt himself tightening around Julian’s cock, heard and felt his gasp and the twitching deep inside his channel, and he spurted into the sheets repeatedly, moaning into the pillow.

“Oh, Dick,” Julian groaned against the back of his neck, “yes!” He thrust into him once more, and again, breathing hard.

Dick, still riding on his ecstasy, whispered, “I love you,” and then whispered it again.

And Julian came deep inside him, moaning softly and, somehow, managing to gasp out words, “I love you too, Dick. Oh god, _so much!_ ”

* * *

Holding Dick in his arms later, after another cleanup and a change of sheets (they decided it would be a nice gesture to offer doing the laundry the next day), Julian lay smiling, his lips at Dick’s temple. 

“I’m so happy, it feels positively obscene not to be the one on honeymoon,” Dick murmured.

Chuckling, Julian observed, “As far as I’m concerned, we are.”

Dick peered up into his eyes, smiling when Julian raised his hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Obscene or on our honeymoon?”

“Both, I suspect.”

Dick laughed. “Do you still want to visit Paris, before Inverness?” He thoroughly enjoyed Julian applying tender kisses and nibbles to every part of his hand.

“Hmm.” Julian kissed the inside of Dick’s palm. “It’s meant to be a perfect spot for a honeymoon. And, conveniently, I have a few weeks at my disposal.”

Dick grinned. “You can help me wrap things up over there!”

Julian smiled. “I’d love to.”

“And then…” Dick nestled closer, then used the opportunity to crawl on top of Julian. “We find our dream cottage.” He grew serious for a moment. “I suppose people will talk. About us living together.”

Julian shook his head, holding him close and smiling. “Let them talk. We’ve always been close. Nothing wrong with living with family you happen to be fond of.”

“Very fond,” Dick said, kissing his cheek.

“Extremely fond.” Julian turned his face and caught Dick’s lips and, for a few minutes, they made quite sure neither of them could speak.

When their lips parted, slowly and reluctantly, Dick asked dazedly, “What were we talking about?”

Julian laughed huskily. “How extremely fond we are of each other.”

“Oh yes.” Dick smiled. He glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. “A few hours yet until daylight.”

Julian raised a brow at him. “You don’t seem tired.”

“Neither do you,” Dick noted, squirming on top of him to make his point.

Julian groaned softly, eyes fluttering half closed. “There’s another set of sheets in my cupboard.”

Dick smiled. “Oh good.” He shifted backwards, sliding mercilessly over Julian’s groin and down his body while flinging the top sheet back. 

Julian lay back, watching him settle between his legs and bending low with a smirk on his lips. He sighed blissfully. “What a lovely honeymoon this is already.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat, and oh, how _I_ want to chat about this pairing! I'm on Twitter and Dreamwidth. Same username. ;)


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